Monday, April 8, 2013
Sooooo.....this has got to be the longest that I have EVER went without blogging...OHHH NOOOO!!! Hahahaha!! I'm hoping that everyone has been enjoying life and making the most out of it....I would love to say that I've been busy, busy...but, it's more like lazy, lazy...heehee!!!
It seems that I've been lost in my own little world lately...just thinking about life...the meaning..you know, light thinking...hahahaha!!
I sometimes just sit around and think of all of the people in my life that ARE my life..they raise me higher..they challenge me...I cherish them OHHH SOOOO MUCH!!! So, here are my thoughts...I honestly ADORE the peeps in my life...and I feel that I have seriously been MORE than blessed in that area of my life...WOOOHOOOO...LUCKY, LUCKY MISS MOLLY! ...but, as I've talked about before...there seems to be a HUMONGO whole or space orrrrr, well whatever you want to call it..something missing...I've sat and tried to figure it out and I most certainly do not want to downplay those amazing family and friends of mine...they are so far up on top of the pedestal that I've put them on that there is absolutely NO WAY that I can make light of that...I love them to the core of my being! So, having said that, we often run across people...and since I have been so insanely spoiled by the people in my life, I trust pretty much anyone that crosses my path...so NAIVE...I know...blahhhhhhh!!! So, we come across these people that tell you EVERYTHING that you've been DYING to hear....I mean it's UNBELIEVABLE that someone could, almost word for word tell you everything you want to hear....that mayyyyyyybeeeeeee....just MAYBE someone UNDERSTANDS...no one would be so mean as to mess around with someone's emotions, feelings...whatever you want to call them....ooooooooooo....I don't even like writing that OR thinking that! I've come to the realization that people, more than I would like to admit...will do or say ANYTHING to get what they want...REALLY???? This makes me soooo sadddddd!!! People will be so, so, so kind and talk to you like you've been friends with them for YEARS and then turn around and throw a person under the bus just as easy as they breathe, without even flinching...hmmmmmm....darn it!!
Soooooo, with all of these thoughts running around in my head, I've tried to come up with a way to realize when people are being honest and when they aren't....do you realize how hard that is???? So, this word was said when I was discussing my thoughts with one of my friends...master manipulators....DARN IT!! What can I do to prevent this "blind" trust that I seem to have for everyone that I meet??? Do I not trust ANYTHING that anyone says to me regarding certain things...just play along and act like I'm totally believing everything that's coming out of their mouths and then walk away?? I would hate to go through life not trusting...just assuming that everyone is lying just to get something from a person....but, on the other hand..it gets old knowing that's all that they think I'm (or whoever) is worth...a lie??? WOWSERS!!! I have found it a lot easier to live in some fantasy world where everything is AWESOMMMMME all of the time...I don't like to look at anything bad that might be going on...my actions/decisions are a lot of the time a bad choice, but I choose to do them anyway...that's just as bad as anything else...I don't think things through...just act on a whim and say that I'll worry about it later...well, I think that "later" has finally arrived and I'm being bombarded with all of the wrong choices that I've made (at least the one's that I can remember) and I'm not quite sure how to handle it....we can't make up for lost time...we can't go back and redo anything...make a different decision...hmmmmmm....I suppose that they only answer is...if I have to tell myself that I'll worry about it later....maybe I shouldn't be doing it..hahaha!!! I am not wanting this blog to be all negative Nelly..so, we must turn this baby around...YESSSSS!!!!!
I'm going to try to look more toward the future and realize that past decisions are past decisions..they can't be undone...and yes, my life is NO WHERE near where I would like it to be, but it is where it needs to be...we can only learn from past decisions...realize where it was we took the wrong turn and learn and grow from it! Now, this seems like a HUGE task, however I think will be the best thing to do at this point....not everyone has our best interests at heart....only and ONLY we, ourselves can decide what is the best for us...after all, we are the only one that is going to care whether we get what we want out of our lives....ohhhhhh....this has been a lonnnnnnng time coming....and if you're wondering...I'm a bit of a late bloomer when it comes to life...I probably should have had this "epiphany" years ago, huh??? haha!! Well, one thing is for sure...I have had TONS AND TONS AND TONS of FUNNNN over the years...and I've made some SPECTACULAR friends (you know, the one's that they say you will only be able to count your real one's on one hand)...yeah, my Dad wasn't kidding when he used to tell us girls that...
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST THOUGHT OF...what if I'm going through a midlife crisis...OHHHH NOOOOOOO!!! hahahahaha!! Just had to add a little humor...it's getting WAY to serious around here...heehee!!! Ok, so here's my plan....if actions don't match words....it's not real....it's fake...I'm not going to believe that people are doing and saying these things on purpose....it's just their way of communicating, doesn't mean that I have to believe it...I will just smile and listen and move on....I need to be able to believe in the goodness of people and the only way that I can think to do that is just smile....I don't want to argue...just smile....move on and find my own way....YAHOOOOOOO!!!
Yep, that was A LOT of rambling...if you made it this far...thanks for reading...heehee!! :)))
Here's to turning the page to a NEW and BETTER chapter in life.....YAYYYY!!!! :)))