Monday, December 17, 2012

"The stories we love in us forever..."

Well hello, hello, hello!!  Once again, it's been a while since I last wrote...hoping that everyone has been wonderful!!  This year has certainly flown right by us, seems that we were celebrating Christmas just yesterday, and yet here it is again!  I love, love, LOVE this season...I love the feeling of it!!  I'm not a big fan of snow, but I'm kind of missing seeing it this year...hmmm, mayyyybe we will still get some before the big day arrives..heehee..I can't even believe that I just said that!!  :)))
So tonight, I felt like writing...I'm sitting here trying to think about how to put all of my thoughts into words..seems like my thoughts are ALLLLL over the place lately..oopsy!!  heehee!!
I don't feel right if I don't mention something about what's been going on over the past few days with the school shooting in of the most horrible things that I could ever imagine and my heart is breaking for the families involved and the community as a whole...I have no words other than to send all of my love to them and my prayers for healing.  It definitely puts a lot of things into perspective for me and hopefully for all of us....we MUST appreciate the people in our lives, no matter their age or anything else...we never know when it can all come to an others with the best of yourself...there's nothing else that matters!!!
I've always tried my best to treat everyone the way that I would like to be treated..but, there are times that I fail miserably...and that is such a bad feeling...when I lose my temper, get mad over something that seems so petty...and then I get mad at myself for getting so worked up over nothing...because as we can now see..there are SO many other people dealing with something so much bigger than we could ever imagine...makes our little worries seem so little!
Sometimes it's SO difficult to seperate ourselves from what we view as problems in our lives..and yes, there is always, always, ALWAYS going to be someone, somewhere that is MUCH worse off than we are....but, it doesn't mean that our problems and concerns don't matter, because they do....they affect us and the people around us....we just have to learn to look at things through new eyes...that's the hard part...we get so used to the way we see things that we can't see them in any other light...we get so wrapped up that we forget all of the things that we DO's SO easy to do that...I'm incredibly guilty of this...I hate the fact that I can say that with 100% truth...why is it so easy to forget the things that we do have????  Some people have children...a family....a great job...a beautiful home...the list can go on and on and on....shooooooot!!!  I spend my days wondering why I never got to have a family of my own....why don't I have my dream job (cuz, I would be SOOOOO good at it...haha!!)...why can't I drive a brand new car???  Why, why, why??? Welllll, what I DO have is a SUPER FANTASTIC family....WONDERFUL friends that would move mountains for me if I needed them to....I have an apartment that I'm pretty happy in...I have a car that gets me where I need to go ANNNNNNNND my life is surrounded by love...YES, it's true...but, so many times I fail to see those things...I'm always wanting what I don't have, but in reality..would those things make me happy???  Really???  Would they???  I would NEVER trade my family OR my friends for a better house or a new car or a great job....I would NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVERRRRRRR give any of them up for any of the things that I "think" that I want or need for my life to be complete!  When I really sit down and think about things...yes, it would be nice to have a brand new beautiful car...but, then what would I do when I needed to make a joke about what my car did TODAY and we all sit around laughing about it...I've even named my little car...her name is Erica when we talk about her, we have a's soooo funny sometimes....and if I had some big, beautiful dream would I be able to constantly be thinking of new decorating ideas and keeping myself busy with all of the little projects that I do to make it my home...sitting around looking at the perfect home would be boring....right???  Sometimes I think that I say these things to make myself feel better about my life...but, in reality..the "things" that we want are just THINGS...they can't give us feeling...they can't bring us happiness...they can do NOTHING for us other than possibly satisfy a need for a moment...and that moment passes so quickly, then we're back to feeling all of the same bad feelings that we would be feeling without the family and friends that surround us...because where would we be without those amazing people in our lives????  I don't want to even think about it, because in all reality, I most likely wouldn't have survived this far into my life...I know that it's just human nature to always be wanting more, but at some point we have to be happy with what we have...because I would give up all of my "things" for just ONE more day with my Grandma Pedersen...I would give it all up...but, we would NEVER give up the people that we love just to have more "things"!!
Well...those are my thoughts for tonight....thank you so much for reading and I hope that you all have a FANTASTIC Christmas and a very, very Happy New Year!!!  Cheers!!  :))

Saturday, November 24, 2012

..just for a moment..

Hello all!!  So, here it's 235am on a Friday night...or should I say, very early Saturday morning...ahhhhh....and guess who can't seem to sleep....meeeeeeeeeeee!!!  I've spent the majority of my evening getting my apartment all that word...don't you??  heehee....and breaking out the old Netflix...oooooo...not sure that was such a good idea..ha!!! I am...thinking about the holidays and family and friends and just the random moments of life in general.  The goal of my little online world is to write about things that are important...things that we don't just sit around and have casual conversation about...things that mean something, both to me and whoever might be reading...probably more to me, but I write with the intent that maybe someone (myself included) won't feel so alone in anything...I know...such a big dream in a small world, huh...but, alas...I'm a dreamer....probably to a fault, as I've mentioned before, but it's my favorite part of me...YAYYYY!!!!
Soooo....before I begin...I apologize, because this is most likely going to be pretty lengthy...ooopsy....guess I'm in that good ole deep thought mode....AGAIN!!  heehee!!  This is probably the ONE topic that I'm the MOST afraid of, but after thinking about whether or not I wanted to address it on my blog...I thought, you know what...I'm just going to go ahead and do it...soooooo....herrrrrre goes....
My biggest...most hugest...MOST gigantic fear in my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE is.....can you guess????  Hmmmm...I'll give you a few hints...I'm a kitty lady (a title I wear very proudly, by the way..heehee)....I have AMPLE time to do a lot of the things that I want to do...don't really have the wallet..but, I do in fact have the time......sooooooo....have you guessed it yet???  Ok, ok.....I am SUPER afraid of being all alone in this never find that ONE person that I will fall head over heels for and that would fall in love with all of the craziness that has become ME.....I've made some wrong turns, took a few detours....been sitting on the road where all I could see was "road construction" and been waiting for the road guy to turn that big stop sign around to tell me that I could move forward.....I think that I've hit enough of the "road construction" and detours to last a hundred lifetimes....sometimes I am so consumed with the fact that I am nearing that big huge number that might possibly start with a FOUR and feeling like there is something the matter with me...that life is just passing me by...that the things that were supposed to happen in my twenties...well, they just never happened.  We spend our twenties and thirties watching our friends get married...have beautiful houses....all of the things that happen in most people's lives...I think that I must have been late (which, really is no surprise, since I'm pretty much late for absolutely everything...haha)  for that train...I've spent the majority of my life, seriously...almost my ENTIRE life blaming the fact that I wasn't a super model on the fact that I have not experienced any of these things....and you know what...I've also been throwing a pretty ginormous pity party about it too....that's not very fun, huh??  NOOOOOO....Miss Molly should be sitting here counting the endless number of blessings that she has been given....and when I say "endless number", I'm being completely has been OHHH SOOOOO GOOD to me....I have met some of the most wonderful people that ever existed AND on top of that, I get to call them my friends and my family....WHOA!!  YES...I'm totally and completely in love with each and every one of them....but, still....I can't help but wonder why the other thing is missing....I LOVE to watch people...have you ever just watched people...pretty interesting, huh???  After you sit there for a while, you begin to wonder what their lives are they think....just anything...and then I find myself making little life stories for them in my head....CRAZY, CRAZY...heehee!!  People become so beautiful if you take the time to really SEE them...hear their stories and whatnot...pretty soon, you "see" something other than their physical's funny how that happens, isn't it??  I was just thinking about that the other best friend, Lisa...well, if you are on my Facebook...we go out quite often...see each other AT LEAST once a on the phone every single day....and she can tell me...I have a hair appointment on such and such a day and then I will see her after she gets her hair done...and unless she does something totally drastic...I don't even notice...not because I don't want to, it's just that you don't look at the appearance of those closest to you start seeing what's on the's pretty amazing if you think about it....but, I also know that the people that I love, that are in my heart....always look absolutely matter what...because they ARE amazing....
Sooooo, onto the next part of my story....sooo, like I mentioned earlier...I've taken some wrong turns...probably made what seemed like bad decisions at the time where guys are concerned...I have the innate ability to find ONLY the one's that aren't looking for anything more than anything really...everytime that I meet someone new, I'm like...ok, I'm going to get to know them and make a decision based on that...I don't want to think that they are just out there to hurt me...that would totally mean that I'm paranoid...there has been something about each of them that always has a familiarity about it...always the same type of guy...the one's that want nothing...don't want to hang out just to hang out...they don't want to know anything about me....nothing.   Oddly enough...look what I've ended up with......yep.....N.O.T.H.I.N.G!  Yes...there it is...the dreaded sentence that makes my soul shed tears that cause floods....haha!!!  ...but, then....a little glimmer....a little spark.....a little, itty, bitty light...I can see it....I can almost feel it....ahhhhhhh...yessssssss....I met him....I did, I did, I did....he even took me out to PUBLIC....we went SHOPPING together..IN PUBLIC....we talked about ALLLLL sorts of things....I've never laughed so hard and so much in my whole life...we had SOOOO much fun together....I was completely honest with him....talked about things that I've never shared with a guy before....WOWWWWW....hands down...BESSSSSST FEEEEEEELING EVERRRRRRRRRR....EVERRRRRRRRR....EVERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   ...and then, in the blink of an eye...without any explanation.....GONE!  DONE!  Now what????  Well, I've been sitting around for the last 2 days throwing myself one of the biggest pity parties in the history of pity parties...but, yeah, it's starting to get old...I'm DONE doing that....sooooo, this is where I'm at....I'm going to look at this last experience as a growing experience....I am going to be thankful for the time that he invested in me....for the fun....for the laughs and for the fact that I let someone in, even if it was just a little bit, it was more than I've ever given....and I had SOOOO much FUNNNN!!!  It can't be a bad memory when for the time that it was happening...I've never been so happy and excited...ANNNNND I got a glimpse of what it might feel like to invest yourself into someone....LOVE the feeling.....I took a chance...yeah...didn't get the results that I was hoping for...but, I TOOK A CHANCE....I've NEVER taken a chance like that...EVERRRRRRR....can you even believe it....WOW!!!  heeeheeheehee!  I'm SO very proud of myself for at least hopping...I didn't quite get the whole "jump" in for that leap of faith...I just hopped...heehee...I need to practice a little bit more before I leap.....just to make sure I get it right when it needs to be, I cannot be mad at this man...yes, I'm hurt...ok, I'm bruised...not hurt, hurt....I have to give him credit for making the was nice while it lasted and like I said...soooooo much funnn....gave me hope...and it also made me realize that I can NEVER take the people that love me and support me through all of these little bumps in my life for granted....they are something that I will treasure forever....they are my treasure...and I hit the, to wind this down...thank you to all of those who are part of my life and have continued to be a part of my life...I owe you the world and some.....I appreciate everything that you do for me and can only hope that I am there for you as much as you are for me......and, that my friends...are the thoughts of this dreamer...heehee....thanks again for is now 328am and I am going to TRY to go to sleep...cross your fingers and wish me luck!!  Nighty night everyone!! :)

Thursday, November 15, 2012

I've got friends...OH YES I DO!! :)

Once's been FOREVERRRR since I've wrote in my little world....shoooooot!!  Anyway, I hope that this finds you all well and good...YAY!!
Soooo, I thought about what I was going to write about ALLL day long...I couldn't quite decide what it was that I felt like rambling about tonight and then I get home and check the mail...there were TWO wonderful surprises waiting in that little mailbox for me...the first and BEST thing was that I received a card from a SUPER FABULOUS friend of mine who has recently joined the Airforce...ohhhhhh yesssss, I'm going to go on and on and ON about that here in a minute and the second little surprise was that I received a new pair of jeans that I had ordered a while back in a size smaller and guess what....THEY FITTTTTTT....OHHHH YEAHHHHHH!!!  What a great ending to the longest day EVERRRR!! now...about this card that I got from my friend, was JUST what I needed at exactly the right moment...don't you just LOVE your friends...I have been BEYOND BLESSED when it comes to the people in my life and I am sooooooooooo, soooooooo, sooooooo appreciative of every single one of them...they all add that extra little spark that we need to keep on keeping on....they give us a sense of self and make us feel like we matter....friendships are something that I hold so close to my heart..sometimes I'm pretty sure that they are my heart...such a FABULOUS feeling!!!
Sometimes it seems that the world is just sitting around bored and thinking..hmmmm..what can I do to add just a little bit more stress to this person's it's not possible to be able to carry on in life without some disaster striking just when things are starting to look up....hits you when you least expect it....blindsides you and doesn't look apology, no just goes on...HOW RUDE!!  hahaha....
Hmmmm...I hate to admit that I used to be the person that would take the hits and sit around in my own puddle of self pity..wondering why in the world this is happening to me...what in God's creation have I done in my life to deserve this or that....ohhhhhhhh....NOTTTTT a good road to go down, that's for sure....I've grown since those times, but once in a while my mind still wants to throw those little pity parties and it wants to invite everyone that I know, to bring them down with me...ooooooooooo...I'm cringing...I hate that thought...absolutely HATE it!! I've grown older and realized that it makes absolutely NO sense whatsoever to bring other people down...why would anyone ever want to do something like that????  ...because of the people in my life...the wonderful friends that I've made and the family that I have been OHHHH SOOOOO BLESSED with, I've learned some EXTRAORDINARY things about life in general....if we start counting our blessings instead of our sorrows...your ENTIRE life changes...pretty soon you are surrounded by some of the most amazing people that you could ever imagine keeping company with....and the more you are around them the more you become exactly what you admire the most in those amazing peeps.....AHHHHHHH...there's the key to least that's what I believe is the key to happiness!!!  :))))
There are going to be so many things in this life that are put there to either make us or break us....ohhhhhh, how I don't want to be broken anymore...and THENNNNNN....look what happened...I got a beautiful card in the MAIL from one of the most inspiring, genuine, kind hearted and wise people that I have ever known!!  Blessings are everywhere, whether it be your kiddos, your friends, your family, your pets....the list can go on and on and on....kind of like my writings...heehee!!!  There are going to be those days when we think that we just can't go on...tooo many things have happened and damaged us beyond repair....sometimes we fail to see the light of the many blessings that surround us everyday....there is always someone who cares and understands and is willing to let you vent it all out until it's done and you're ready to move forward...I am sitting here smiling, because no matter what is going on, I know that I am soooooo lucky to have the people in my life that I do...I may not have everything that I want in this life, or the things that I think that I "need", but when I sit down and really think about it...I am absolutely, positively surrounded by the love that I never think that I have....I just have it in a different form...I have it from the MOST amazing family that anyone could ever ask for and I have it from some SUPER FANTASTIC friends that have become the family that I chose...and I look up to all of them and admire each one of them....they are the strongest people that I will probably  ever know....and I'm so fact, I'm sitting here with the biggest smile on my face just thinking about all of them...sooooo, to my family and all mean the WORLD AND BEYOND to me.....I would have never made it through this much of my life without any of you....everything is a lesson that must be learned to be understood...haha...I think that's how that quote goes... :))  Wishing you all a wonderful evening....thanks for reading!!  :))

Monday, October 8, 2012

"We are shaped by the light we let through us.."


Have you ever just sat around and thought about all of the people that you encounter throughout the day?  Did you think about what you said to them or how you treated them?  I’m not just talking about the people that we see everyday, but also about the people that we just pass by while grocery shopping or when we are filling our car up with gas…those random people?  Have you ever been standing in line and the person in front of you is so completely rude to the person behind the counter and you start thinking to yourself how absurd it is that a complete stranger can treat another human being like that?  If we step back and look at ourselves and how we might be coming across to them or to other’s that may be watching, it really gets you to thinking.  I realize that the world is full of problems, our lives are overflowing with stress and tension and it’s really difficult to stop and think about how we are treating the people around us.  Sometimes that person ahead of you in line that thinks that it is ok to treat the person behind the counter so badly, because after all…they are JUST a cashier.  We get so caught up in our daily struggles that we forget that people are matter what their job is, or their social status or what they look like.  We live in a society that believes the only way to be “somebody” is to do anything to get to the top, no matter who they are hurting along the way…as long as THEY are the one that wins in the end, but what does winning mean when there is no one left around you to cheer you on, to congratulate you, to support you?  What happens then?  Our time is limited, none of us can determine how long we get to be here with all of the people that are around us…and none of us know when everything can be lost in the blink of an eye..wouldn’t you rather live a life being the best that you can be and at the same time bring everyone else along with you for the ride?  ..or would you rather be that person in front of you in the line that feels that it is ok to treat people in an unkind manner because they think that they are “better” than another person?  Sometimes it’s so easy to sit and wonder how anyone could possibly do something like that..we fail to see what we, ourselves are doing…it’s always easier to point a finger than to look in the mirror…
Unfortunately, I can’t think of any way that I can single-handedly change the world, I don’t have the power to change how people treat one another and I certainly don’t have the power to make anyone believe anything…but, what I do have the power to do is spread kindness and joy…patience and understanding and have empathy for another human being.  We are all the same, we are all living in the same world, so why would anyone choose to make anyone’s life including their own..a miserable existence?  We never know when the our own world’s will crumble into a heap of nothingness…we just never know how long we will be on the “top”…we should never get so caught up in winning that we abandon any sense of humanity, because there will come a day  when we might need to lean on someone when times are tough..wouldn’t it be nice to know that you treated everyone that you met with respect, no matter how they are treating you?  You chose to be the better person.  I admit, it’s a tough world out there, we are going to encounter people who couldn’t care less about what the next person is feeling, we are always going to have to feel pain and insignificance, but there is a small glimmer of hope, and it all begins with how we react to these situations.  Always be kind and try your hardest to be the understanding one…not only will it make another person feel better, it will make you feel better about yourself and the more you do it the more you take part in changing a little part of the world for the better.  Never take anyone for granted, everyone has a story..including you. 

Monday, September 24, 2012

...back from hibernation...ha!!

Hello, hello, HELLO!!  Mannnnn, it's been so long since I've written a post that I almost forgot how to log in...WHOA!!!  I'm hoping that all has been going well in all of your lives.  I think that my life has completely BLOWN UPPP...I don't think that I ever remember being soooooo strained for's SUPER EXCITING, but has also added just a weeeeee little bit of stress..hence my little bloggy post for the evening!  The best part about all of this is that...are you ready??  ARRRRE YOUUU READDYYYYY????  heehee...wellll, I have sort of decided that enough was enough...I'm just going to go for it...and in saying "GO FOR IT"...I mean that I have taken on going for EVERYTHING...ALLLL AT ONCE!!!  I apologize in advance if I ramble on and on and ONNNN....heehee!!
So, I decided that I wanted to go back to school...convinced myself that now that I am an adult, I will have such a better outlook and appreciation for what school will offer me...I will be SO much more dedicated...hmmmmm....darn it...this one has been a struggle...turns out that I didn't realize that so much of my time is used at work...having a difficult time concentrating long enough to get anything accomplished...but, I'm NOT giving up quite yet...YAY!!!  The next thing that I decided to take on...and let me put this little disclaimer in here...I don't exactly know if I actually made a conscious decision to do this, or if my brain FINALLY decided that it was time....I have begun a little workout 330 AM...yes..that's right...330 IN THE MORNING!!  WHATTTTT????, I think that I've skipped out on 3 days as of right now and I'm pretty sure that I've been AT LEAST 15-20 minutes late every morning...oopsy!!  ...but, it IS more moving than I've done in the past, so that's definitely a plus....tomorrow's goal...wake up AT there AT 330AM...heeheehee!!!  I might give my workout buddy a stroke if I actually show up on time...hahaha!!  Nooooooo...she'll just smile and shake her head...heeheehee!!!  :)))
Ok, now that I've kind of given you and overview of my current's all of the side effects of wanting EVERYTHING allllll at once....I HAVE TO, HAVE TO, HAVE TO, HAVE TO, HAVE TO WORK FOR EVERY LITTLE sliding nothing.....this is ALLLLL me....and do you know's the absolute scariest thing to me on the entire planet....yeahhhhh...who knew!!  So, I'm going to spill it all out, right here...yep, that's what I'm going to prepared!!  :)
Ok, so the school thing...all of these thoughts of what's going to happen once I'm I going to go out there and make something of myself...and if so...what is it that I'm looking for....soooo confused...all I know are a few things for sure....I want to do something that I'm proud of and that my friends and family would be proud of and I want to make some sort of difference IN at least ONE person's life...and I want to make THAT my life....any ideas????
The whole working out thing....I'M SUPER, SUPER, SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS ONE!!  I'm just going into week 5...don't laugh, but this is seriously the longest that I've stuck with something like this...and yes, I'm most definitely feeling better...everyday makes me feel like a stronger person....almost kind of like a new person...I can't wait to see what I feel like after TEN weeks...I can't even imagine..hahaha....while this is definitely something that I look forward to each day....someday's it's soooo hard to wait, wait, wait to see anything changing....I can feel what's changing on the inside of me, just a little impatient waiting for the outside results..I know that it will eventually show up...and I need to keep reminding myself that all of the good stuff comes to those that wait...that don't give up....ohhhhhhhhhh kayyyyyyyyyy...HAHAHA!!!  I'm just trying to figure everything out in my head...there are some people that have come into my life and I have shrugged them off...and didn't exactly want to...I don't ever remember being quite this bad...I've become terrified know, I can't even put it into words....but, shoooooot....
Soooo, having said that....the third thing that I have decided that I wanted to work at was TRUST...hmmmm...I know that God has plans for me...I'm hoping that they are huge plans and I'm hoping that I can live up to them....however, it's really hard these days to know who is being honest and who is playing with feelings...ooooooooo....I'm squinting my eyes as I type that....soooo, letting go and letting God...I'm going to go for it...have enough trust in Him to know that I will come out all matter what...right??  OF COURSE!!!  ...and, as I've mentioned before, I have an EXTREME love for quotes...I read them all of the time when life starts feeling a little bit overwhelming...I came across this truly made me feel better about it is:

Sooooo, there it is....allll of this worrying (and we all know that worrying will NEVER change the outcome of a situation...sometimes it can even make a situation worse..OH NO!!) and wondering and allllll of the "eh" feelings....YEAH....this is ALL in my control....I have to do one is going to do it for me and no one is going to care as much as me if I do or don't do it.....ahhhhhhh....there is the key....I will ONLY continue to walk backwards through life if I don't step up and realize that I am the ONLY one who is going to hurt if I don't at least give it my ABSOLUTE BESSSST SHOT!!!  WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!  Change is usually always a good thing...I should rephrase that....positive change is usually always a good thing...soooo, really where can we go wrong as long as we're heading in a positive direction...YAYYYY!!!  Ok, I think that I have re-energized myself.....I'm going to pull out my, study, out, work out, work right, eat right, eat right....and feel ohhhhhhhhhh sooooooo gooooood!!!  If I'm the best version of myself, I will have soooo much more to offer those that give me the best of themselves, and I'm completely surrounded by AMAZING peeps....I can only try to live up to their 'AMAZINGNESS'...yes, that's right...I just invented a word...hahaha!!
Ok everyone...thanks for reading...LIVVVVVE WELLLLLLLL!!!!!  :)))

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Decide that you WANT it...

Hey everyone!!  I think that my posts are getting fewer and further between!!  Where has my motivation gone??  Hoping to find it soon, I'm kind of missing it..haha!!!  ...anyway, hoping that everyone's week has been going well...
Well, for today...I've been doing some soul searching...and FYI...I do this a lot...haha!! there have been some decisions that I have made both recently and in the past...I give them a lot of thought..wonder why I made the decisions that I made and whatnot...I firmly believe that everything happens for a help us grow into the person that we were meant to be...totally believe that!!!  ...but, I find myself questioning why I continue to repeat the same mistake over and over and OVERRRRR....because,'s getting old!  ..obviously I am not learning the lessons that I need to be learning...uh oh!!!  Sooooo, here I am...trying to figure out how to deal with everything and still find peace within do I let this closet that is BUSTING at the seams with skeletons do I find peace and start learning from my past behaviors, which seemed to have crept back into my present....makes me want to SCREAMMMMM!!!!  I'm trying so hard to not let this affect remain happy and laid back, but my insides are about to burst right out of me...I'm so angry with not only the situations, but that I allowed myself to fall into this GIGANTIC black hole of regret....soooo, as you all know..I'm in LOVE with quotes, so I found this one and it got me to thinking about what exactly it is...what changes do I need to make to feel fulfilled in this life and not carry around my past and all of the regret and shame that comes along with's the quote and then I'll continue on with my thoughts..haha!! there it all it's glory...haha!!!  So, this is it...what am I SO insanely afraid of?????  ....wellllllll, I'm TERRIFIED of any shape or, as I'm realizing this I'm seeing that I have become a "yes" person....yep, never say no....just make everyone happy and then there will be no confrontation to deal NOTHING!!  Somewhere in this plan that I thought was foolproof....I got lost....I lost myself....I forgot about myself and along the path I became angry with these "situations" that kept coming up...I began to feel that the only thing that I was worth in this world was what I could do for everyone....hmmmm....I forgot that I needed to take care of me....OHH NOOOO!!!!  So, here I am....trying to figure it all out....what do I do with all of the hurt and frustration, that I...ME....MYSELF caused?????   I need to set some goals...some HUGE, life changing goals and I need to use these goals as both an outlet for the regret and shame and a foundation for which I am going to rebuild my life AND my future!!  I need to find the control that I've been searching for.....YES!!!  I am in the process of making these goals and I am fully intended on reaching every single one of them.....number ONE on the list....QUIT BLAMING...TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MYSELF!!!  WHOA...this is going to be a challenge...and super scary...but, I'm ready for it...I'm ready to control myself...not let other's control me...and I'm going to LIVVVVVE...really, really, really LIVE!!!  So, here I go....I'm joining a gym and I'm going to sweat out EVERY SINGLE BAD THING....heeheeheehee!!!  Let's hope, anyway!!  heeehee...I'm not one that enjoys working out..but, I'm going to give it a the meantime....I'll be planning my next adverturous goal...I gotta think on it...cuz, it's gotta be a good one!!!  :)  No more blaming what I look like for how my life has turned out....I'm going to take control of it and move forward....
Now that I've rambled on and on and on about myself...I hope that this has helped someone that's struggling with similar issues....maybe we can do this together....heehee!!  Have a wonderful rest of the week everyone...thanks for reading!!  :))))

Monday, July 30, 2012

All I ever wanted...

Happy Monday everyone!!  Hope that you had a great start to your week..we're already at the end of the summer season..WOW....seems like it just flew right on by us...time has a habit of doing that to us every once in a while..haha!!  
I loved this quote for tonight's post.  It's so funny how the life that we imagined that we would be in by the time we are at a certain age is usually so different from what we had pictured...soooo different!!  It's so easy to sit around reliving regret after regret after regret until you can no longer see any of the blessings that you have sitting right in front of you...I know that I am guilty of getting so wrapped up in a thought or a memory that I wished that I would have handled differently at the time..but when you really sit and think about it...would the ending have been any different???  ...hmmm, I guess that's one of those things that we will never know...shooot!!!  I do know that this feeling of just sucks the life right out of us...makes us think that we are nothing...that we don't mean anything...well, that's how it makes me feel...but, in reality, we are surrounded by love and blessings everywhere...
Sooo, this has got me thinking...which is NEVER good...hahahaha!!  If you were given the chance to go back in time and you were allowed 30 minutes to tell yourself everything that you wished that you would have known or realized at a certain time...what would you say to yourself????  Oddly enough, I think about this scenerio so much....I've tried to think of the most important things that I wished that I would have, don't be so're going to miss out on so much life....don't think so much, it only complicates a situation that really isn't all that complicated and MOST of all, I would tell myself over and over and OVER to love myself....that, I believe, it the most important one of all....and the hardest thing in the world to do...for without it, you go down roads blindly believing everything....soooooo, knowing that I can never go back in time and tell that shy little girl that never thought much of herself just how much love surrounds her....I have to tell the me of today those exact same words...until they resonate in my mind...until it makes sense....until I can become a whole person...loving every single second of life and living in the moments and making outstandingly amazing memories!  There really aren't any regrets in life...yes, there are things that we wished that we would have done differently, but if you just sit and think about it...would you really..I mean REALLY change anything...because we have to realize that if we changed just ONE little tiny thing...we wouldn't be the person that we are is just a succession of know that quote, right???   Lesson after lesson after's kind of like we NEVER graduate from this school, huh?? seems that once we learn one lesson there is another one waiting in line to be least it keeps life interesting, right??  Ok....well, I'm going to close for the evening....I hope that you all enjoyed your Monday...4 more days until the weekend..heehee!!!!  YAYYYY!!!!  Have a wonderful evening everyone!!  :))))

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The good you do today...

Happy Wednesday everyone...I don't know about anyone else, but it is HOTTTTTT outside...I'm kind of looking forward to's my FAVORITE season...the only problem with saying that is that winter is the next stop after it...ohhhh welllll...heehee!!!
So, the past few days I've sort of, kind of been trying to do some soul searching...trying to answer all of those pesky unanswerable questions...sometimes I really, really want to know ALLL of the answers to life..make all of the pieces of this giant puzzle with the smallest of pieces fit together, and then I think, well why on Earth would I want to do boring would life be...but, I will always sit and wonder and try to figure it all out...keeps me busy, at least..heeheehee...sooooo, anyway onto what my whole intent for today's blog is.  I found this little quote that had a HUMUNGOUS impact on me today...kind of made me feel a little more at ease about, here goes nothin'...haha!!

"The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow,
do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough,
give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway."
-Mother Theresa-

Isn't that one of the most BEAUTIFUL things that you have ever read??!??!  I fell in love with it as soon as I read it.  It seems like that for the most part we all try to be good be kind to each other...try our hardest not to speak unkindly about another person...try to be the understanding unconditionally...all of the things that we strive to be....all of the things that we would want someone to be for us and feel for us....but, shoot...sometimes things just don't play out the way that we think that they should...and that makes all of this some of the most difficult challenges that we will face in our lives.  Keep our words kind...that is SO hard to do when we are upset about something or when we don't get the reaction that we hoped for or when we come across someone that just really doesn't care about any part of's SO makes us want to give up...fall into the deep hole that it seems a lot of the world is would be so easy to just say....screw it....I might as well join them....ahhhhhhhhhhh, but do we REALLY want that for ourselves???  Do I want that for myself???  ...or you for yourself???  Sometimes I tend to over do things...I can over dramatize just about anything in my mind, whether it be something good or something bad...I have to admit, it's not my favorite part of me...but, alas...I must accept it and try my best to control it...hahaha....
The one change that I have noticed in myself since starting this blog...ok, there's TWO things....first one...I suck at puncuation..SUCK...hence the millions of dots in every sentence...hahahaha!!  The second thing, it seems that once I put all of these thoughts and feelings into writing and share them with all of you, it has made me a bit of a stronger person, because I can't rightfully say all of these things and not at least give it my best shot to live up to my words...somedays are harder than others..heehee!! 
Sooooo, back to the topic at hand.....there are times when I like to say things to people that are struggling to try to help them out..give them some encouraging words...because if you knew the family and friends that I have been blessed with and the encouraging words that they have given to me...PRICELESS....SIMPLY PRICELESS...the words that I try to share with other's are the word's that those precious people shared with me when I needed to hear them....but, then when I say them....OH NO...what did I just do....I totally crossed the line...panic sets in and we have an exaggerated version of all events blown so out of control in my head that I can't even function see how I can exaggerate so easily...heeheeheehee...just kidding!!  :))  ..but, anyway....this quote gave me a little comfort..showing love and kindness is never anything to be embarrassed about....trying to help out someone in need...try to help them lift themselves higher....there is no reason that we should feel bad....we are just trying to keep the "goodness" train on the tracks....paying it forward....yes, I'm lovin' this quote...puts my heart at ease and only makes me want to try harder in being the one that never gave up on goodness, because after's not for's for the goodness within our souls...have a wonderful evening, everyone....until next time... :)

Saturday, July 14, 2012

...more than just a memory..

Sooooo, how long has it been??  ...ummmm, seems like forever since I wrote a new post...WHOA!!  Have I been lazy or WHAT??  Hahahaha!!!
It's been such an AMAZING weekend so far...been traveling for the majority of the time, but I'm the girl that loves to go on roadtrips...I LOVE THEM!!  Heehee!!
Yesterday my travels took me to with my sister, Kirsten and her hubby Mike...we had a great day and I found a few little treasures to decorate my place..Kirsten got some maternity clothes, which she has been SUPER EXCITED about...she looks so cute....I can't wait until her "little package" as she refers to the arrive!!  Girl ohhh Girl..hahaha...can you tell that I'm totally voting for a girlie...heehee...ohhhhh, I will be happy with whatever she has, I'm just being selfish and want to buy all the cute girlie things...I KNOW...heehee!!!  :)
Today, we had a family reunion in Holdrege...some of the people there I had never was nice to see everyone reunions always get me to thinking...sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives and become so focused on what's going on in our own little world's that I think sometimes we forget where we come from...howww sadddddd!!  So, as I was sitting there watching everyone (no, I'm not a creeper, I just love watching's SO interesting!)  I was watching the older people in our family...they're all sitting around...seemed so happy to be there..seeing everyone...smiling..laughing...genuinely having a good time, so then....and be's my mind coming at you, in it's purest form...BEEEWARRRRE...hahaha!!!
Ok, so you know how when you go home to see your parents or you go visit your grandparents or really any family members you get the scoop on what everyone is up they have been...whether or not they are struggling with something...upcoming events, like weddings, get-togethers, and God forbid,, here I am looking at these beautiful people and thinking of all of the things they have been through..marriages, divorces...illnesses...and yet, here they are...smiling and SO amazingly beautiful!!!!!  Family is meant to be our foundation...where we can go and know...absolutely KNOW that you are going to be accepted and questions asked...there's no reason to be afraid because you just KNOW...and it's the bestest feeling in the world....
So, here's where the title of today's blog comes in...memories...ohhhhhhh, it seems that they can either make you or break you, huh???  ...and this is kind of coming from a personal issue that I'm having, but kind of made me think today!  We meet so many people in our lives...and we invite some into our lives to share those make memories with them...we trust them!  What happens when our memories have taken so much of you away that we can't seem to find it in ourselves to ever let anyone in again????  Do we just lose out..or do we give it a shot...prepared for the worst, but yet expect the best....realize that people can and do let people down, but on the other hand..people can also build people do you know the difference????  Yesssssssssss......this is getting scary, isn't it??  TRUST....oooooooooooo....yes, I'm TERRIFIED...ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of it...but, yet I know that it is the key to me finding ME....darn it....ha!!  ...and I don't make it easy, that's for sure....yes, it's easy to write this blog...put everything out there...because I'm not sitting here looking anyone in the eye...I'm not seeing the looks on anyone's faces...I don't see any judgement....this is just a release of some sort, I guess......but, looking at this family...knowing what some of them have been through...and to see those smiles...hearing them just all melted away....I want that feeling ALLLLLL of the time...I don't ever want to lose it again....EVER!! 
Here's a little quote that I found I think fits perfectly into this little story.....

"Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before"

After spending the day with some extended family...loving every minute..I'm seeing the truth in this particular quote....I just need to let all of the bad stuff that God has a plan for me and what's meant to be will be...if it hurts...if not, then look what I found....ME...and once that's accomplished...I will be so much better for the people around me....TRUST IN THE PLAN!!  ALWAYS....because none of us are here by mistake...we all have a purpose!!!  ....and my last little statement before I stop for the day....always be the person who makes good memories for another person...don't play with emotions...they are WAY to fragile to be thrown to that higher standard...I MUST REMEMBER THIS EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF EVERY SINGLE DAY...I'll just keep picturing the beauty of today in my head...we all deserve goodness!!!  Here's hoping that you're all having a FABULOUS weekend and enjoy the week to come!!  Keep smiling...everything works out the way that it is supposed to...YAYYYYY!!!  

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Lather up....

Good evening everyone!!  It just amazes me how quickly the weekends just fly right on by...sheesh!!  I've been pondering what I should write about all weekend long...this weekend, I got thrown for a loop (hope that's how the saying goes..haha!)  I've written what...10-11 posts over the course of the past month or so...I decided to do this blog thing because I wanted to have a constant reminder of all of the blessings in my life and to remember how far I have come when life smacks me down...I was thinking that I had learned just about everything that I've been searching for...I felt like I had overcome a lot of the things that I wanted to overcome...become a more confident person, respect myself what I want to see in other people and live it every single so comfortable in my own skin that it couldn't be shaken....YAY!! 
Ok, so then along comes an event and everything that I believed that I had become over the past 2 years....hmmm....allllll of those nerves...all of the doubt about my own being...that all came flooding back...OHHHH NOOOOO!!!!  So, onto the reason I decided to do this....NEVER FORGET WHERE YOU WERE COMPARED TO WHERE YOU ARE NOW....I seemed to have forgotten this somewhere along the line and have avoided absolutely any situation that might bring up anything not so fun...ok, I need to sit back and reevaluate where my mind needs to be...because I guess that I have SOOO much more to learn...which, yes...learning is growing and THAT is exactly what I intend to long as I'm still growing that means I'm still living...WHEW!!  heehee!!! comes the reminder part of my blog...and I'm not writing this for myself alone, but also for anyone who needs reminding about how precious and special you are and how wonderfully FABULOUS life's all about how we react to it....
Here is a quote that I found and absolutely LOVE.....

The zest for life is there for all. We must decide as individuals how much we want the lather it up. The decision is ours, ALWAYS!
~Gigi Galluzzo

Yes...and as usual, I must give credit to 'Positive & Inspirational Quotes' from Facebook...I had to use the picture, too....isn't it SO cute!!  heehee!!

It seems that I've sat out on the bench for a lot of my life...just kind of watching it pass right on meet people that remind you that maybe, just haven't lived until you have LIVED..ha!!  You never know how long people are going to stay in your life..they have their own path to follow, sometimes we're traveling together and sometimes we have to part ways just to get where we're going....but, everyone is put into your life, if even for a day or two for a reason....every person is another sparkling little blessing in our lives...there to teach us to grow!!  Sometimes, I think God likes to throw in a little twist....something to make us think!!  ....I'm watching Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition....have you ever watched that show???  It's AMAZING!!  The trainer, he actually changes people's lives, kind of like the Biggest Loser...any of those types of watch the people from the beginning to the see all of the changes...their confidences goes through a complete overhaul...the look in their eyes is brighter...the happiness actually gives them a glow...something that we all want to feel, we all want to be a part of....soooo, here is my message:  LIVVVVVE....don't let your own thoughts ruin your chances to live.....take a few risks here and there...don't run away from your fears...dive in...have fun....and before you know it....all those things that you always wanted...before you know'll have the life you've been working towards...ok, now I'm going to have to go back and re-read my own words over and over and matter what...because this panicky (there's a good possibility that is totally spelled wrong) feeling needs to go away!  No matter what happens with whatever...I'm challenging myself and everyone else to conquer at least ONE fear in the next I go...cross your fingers and say a few prayers...heehee!!!  Have a FABULOUS Monday!!  :)))

Monday, June 25, 2012

I believe...there are angels among us...

Good evening everyone...hoping that you all had a MARVELOUS Monday!!!  I don't know about anyone else, but I have an ever so slight addiction to's really not that bad, I's not like I need TREATMENT or anything...hahahaha...ok, so maybe I do..heehee!!  ...anyway, there is a page that I follow called "Poems and Quotes"...I'm mentioning this, because I came across a little quote that I ABSOLUTELY fell in love with and it is my inspiration for tonight's post and even though I would LOVE to take full credit for it, I have to give credit where credit is due! The past few weeks have been a WHIRLWIND of EXCITEMENT...soooo much going on, so many changes..all for the good, but now that things have settled down a bit...I think that I'm going through some sort of down time, just a lot of life thinking....the whole questioning of what is my purpose..all of that kind of know, we all have to have these reflective is from these moments that we grow and learn more about ourselves...soooo, these times are actually a blessing...just disguised up a little's my inspiration quote for this evening... :)

"Do you?"

By: Ashley Ulrick

Do you feel alone at times but your not, Do you ever get that feeling someone is following you, Do you ever wonder who is crying, Do you ever wonder what is that sound behind you, Do you ever get a call from someone but no one is there, Do you ever worry over and over, Do you pray to God for the answers, Do you ask a friend or family member who is behind you, Do you ever hear the door bell ring and there is no one there, Do you ever ask the lord what is going on, Did you ever know it was your guardian Angel all this time trying to give you a hard time...Just say yes because you know your guardian Angel is keeping an eye on you.

This particular quote made me feel all warm's such a nice thought knowing that there is something out there watching over us.  There are a lot of times that I like to think that the loved one's that we have lost are watching over us and protecting us, but then I think...OH NO...what if they CAN see what we are doing....WHOA!!!  I better change what I'm doing...they would be SO disappointed if they knew that I made this decision or that decision...sometimes it will make me think twice about what I'm doing...hmmmm...what a thought!  There are so many things that I have done or decisions that I have made with the thought of 'Would Grandma approve of this???'...the answer is usually a big NO...otherwise I probably wouldn't be asking myself that quesion, right?? haha....then on the other end of the spectrum, there are things that I have done that I know that they would be proud fact those things that I am most proud of are the parts of them that they left with me....YAYYYY!!!  ...yes, I'm totally rambling...with no destination in mind...that's scary..haha!!!

Anyway, I think that what I'm trying to that no matter what decision we make or what we have done or what we are doing...all that matters is that we got something out of it...either it was something that taught us some sort of lesson or it was something that happened so that we could learn more about ourselves or another person, because I do believe..with my entire being that absolutely everything happens for a reason and everyone we meet, we were supposed to meet...even if for a short time....they all have a purpose in our life's journey!  ...and to think that there is someone or something out there watching over us along our road...well, that just makes it better, and might make me think twice about feeling lonely or sad or depressed...because I know that my Grandma would NEVER want her grandchildren to feel that way...and just because I have to, I'm going to leave you with just one of the many happy memories that I have of her....My dear, sweet Grandma...we used to go visit her and she would just sit there and look at us and then she would touch our faces and our hair and look at us and tell us that we were the most beautiful girls that she has ever seen...I remember how soft her skin AMAZINGLY beautiful her smile was and her twinkling eyes...and I swear all that she ever seen was LOVE...she truly, whole heartedly LOVED her family and we were kiddos..and it wasn't until we grew up a little and she passed away that we realized fully that she was the absolute definition of LOVE and she would want nothing less for her girls....I can still picture her in my mind and as I'm sitting here typing this and sharing it with all of you and tears are rolling down my eyes...I've never been happier sitting here remembering her, all of her beauty and all of her wisdom...words cannot portray how much she left us all with...she is in our hearts...she is in my heart....and suddenly I feel an overwhelmingly HUMUNGOUS amount of love...and hopefully will start my tomorrow with an attitude of love and patience...our past is what made us who we are and our present is a reflection of how we react to the past....ok, well I'm going to sign off for the evening and enjoy the rest of the night remembering my guardian angel....have a wonderful evening!!  :)

Thursday, June 14, 2012

...this little light of mine...I'm gonna let it SHINE..

WOOOOOHOOOOOO....I am SOOOO happy to have the opportunity to write a little blog tonight...seems like it has been..ohhhhhhhh, I don't know....FORRREVVVERRRRRRR!!!!  YIPPPPEEEE SKIPPEEEEEE!!! 
I'm hoping that everything has been FABULOUS for everyone this past week or so....I've been basking in my new place...enjoying it and finding new little "projects" of creating some of my so called masterpieces to decorate it up just a litttttttle can NEVER stop decorating and designing, right....looks like my weekend is going to be full of fun little projects..I'm SOOOO excited.....
Ok, sooooo as you know, I LOVVVVE, as I was searching for something, you know....LIFE CHANGING...I came across this, this is my starting it is:

"Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement." - Golda Meir

YESSSSSS....don't you just LOVE this one....I most certainly DO!!!  This particular quote kind of played at my heartstrings...hit home just a little bit!  I believe this with my ENTIRE being...although, I am still, most definitely a work in progress....but, I'm going to focus on the 'progress' part of that statement...always progressing...moving forward...NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVVVVERRRRRRRRR giving UP....EVERRRRRR!!!!!!! 
Sometimes, when I'm just sitting around and thinking about things, my mind wanders to all that I wanted to be and all that I dreamed to be....wellllll, it seems that mayyybe things haven't been all that I dreamed of or imagined...and through it ALLL, it turns out.....IT'S BETTTTTERRRRR!!!  ....a lot of little detours later.....soooo many lessons learned....and here I am...gaining strength and wisdom with each passing day!!  YESSSSSS!!!!!
When I was growing up, the thing that I remember wanting was to be a doctor....I would even sign my name really messy and put M.D. behind it...ohhhh yessss....hahahahaha!!!  What a funny thought, because as an adult, I can't imagine the pressure of being a doctor...we don't think of those things as kiddos...but, I'll tell you what, I had the BEST time pretending that I could cure the world of ALL diseases....then as I got a bit older, I realized that I wanted to be an artist....a TRUE artist...traveling the world, living from place to place...never having a plan....just LIVE in pure beauty....ahhhhhh, now THAT was the life for me...heehee!!!
Soooo, here I am working in probably the MOST opposite position of either of these dream, I don't LOVE the work...but, I LOVE THE PEOPLE, which in turn...yeahhhhh, I don't mind going to work everyday, because THIS job, this job I was SO hesitant about...this job that is so on the opposite spectrum of me has given me not one, but TWO amazing things....first...I've made some ABSOLUTELY AMAZING friends and second, it has given me the means to pursue....ART!!  This job has given me baby wings in all aspects of my life!!  Sooooooo, I am creating the person that I am going to be happy with for my entire life annnnnnnd am still fanning those little sparks of possibility that I had as a child to make them grow into HUGE flames of ACHIEVEMENT....and I owe it all to the people in my life and a job that I would have NEVER seen myself in...and somewhat enjoying!  So, I guess that what I'm trying to say is that sometimes we all tend to think that we have been handed the losing hand in life, we don't have the job that we want, we don't have the time we want...etc, etc.....but, when you stop for just a minute or two and look's may be disguised as something else...possibly hiding somewhere in the cracks, but...BELIEVE ME...IT'S TOTALLY THERE and once you see'll sit back and wonder how you have been missing it for SO long....don't focus on the bad, the negative or at what you think is the end of the road....don't do it....DON'T EVERRRR GO THERE, because it's just a's like a practical joke or maybe a puzzle..that spark IS there if you just look!!  When we focus our whole being on what we don't have...hmmmmm, then really....we have NOTHING!!  ....but, when you start focusing on what you HAVE, where you have been and the strength that it took to get start seeing the world open start seeing smiles and people saying 'hi' when they pass by start seeing a bright, friendly.....GOOOD world....and you've got it on a string...YOU control it....awwwwwwww YEAHHHHHHHH.....perfect life...if you just open your mind to it....those frowns magic...those rude people, rarely see them anymore and suddenly EVERYTHING sparkles and EVERYTHING shines....even YOU!!!  YAYYYYYY!!!
Have a wonderful evening to you soon.... :)))))

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

..the people you meet along your way..

Good EARLY afternoon...yep, I'm starting earlier than usual today...gotta take my opportunity when there's a computer around since I don't get my internet until the 18th...WHOA!!  I might just go into withdrawl..thank goodness for my phone..hahaha!!
I had soooo many ideas on what I was going to write today, and guess what...I can't seem to remember ANY of the topics...shooooot!!!
So, I am going to talk about the people that we meet along our journey...I found this quote on FaceBook..I liked a page called 'Positive Inspirational Quotes'..which is where I got this from...since I'm not sure the gal's name, I'll just give her credit by saying where I found's a really neat page...and is SOOOOO inspiring to the name of the page's the quote:

"If you're having a hard time letting go, realize that if they wanted to stay they'd still be there. Sometimes you have to forget what's gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what's coming next. It sucks when you know that you need to let go, but you can't, because you're still waiting for the impossible to happen. Although it may seem like the wrong thing to do, you have to forget about the person who forgot about you. Some people are meant to stay in your heart, but not in your life." -SQ I know that I've talked A LOTTTT about the people in my life and how much they mean to me..I really don't think that I can possibly say it enough...they are my world!!  There have been a few people that, I'm pretty sure, were brought into my life in order for me to learn....yes, I felt a little bit of hurt and there were some tears shed, but looking back on it...WOW...these particular people will probably never know the impact that they had on my life.  At the time, I thought that they were everything...someday, we'll come together and be OHHHH SOOOO HAPPY...but, was not to be...I'm still single, but you know what???  I LOVE IT!!  ...I'm not saying that if a knight (and yes, he would actually have to be a knight..ha!) in shining armour walked up to me and said...YOU..YES YOU...I want to spend some time getting to know you and you getting to know me...and we walk off into the sunset..pure BLISS...hahahaha!!  Yes..then here's reality sitting on my shoulder...the chances of that happening...well, let's just say..I would probably win the largest lottery in the history of the lottery before that will ever happen..heehee!!  ...but, yes I have found contentment being a single girlie...but, it has taken all of the GOOD people to show me that it's ok....
Once I left the job that I spoke about in my post yesterday..I thought that it was over...I had my chances, my opportunities and I turned around and walked, I'm going to have to work in a job where I don't get to use any of my talents...just a hum drum, get up and go and count the hours until I get to go home...blahhhhhhhhh!!  Well, surprise, surprise, SURPRISE....I walked into a job that I know NOTHING about...I struggled those first few weeks..I thought that there was NO way, absolutely NO WAY that I would be able to do this just wasn't me...and THEN..I started to get to know the people that I was working with....AMMMMAZZZZZINNNNNG PEOPLE...ABSOLUTELY every possible way!! The people that I was going to be working with showed me how to be to be POSITIVE and how to go after what you stopping to ask questions....JUST GO...DOOOOO ITTTTTTT...
Soooo, as it turns out....I was blessed beyond imagine by going into something that I wasn't so sure about....I have grown a LIFETIME of years this past year....yes, the people that you meet along your way...the good one's, the bad one's and the lost one's....that's a lot of different people in my lifetime and ALL have taught me something...thank God that I came across those that showed me how to think for myself and look for the good, I've said...there's always good..somewhere, it all depends on the way you look at it...and yeah...I just have one more little story...mannnnnn, this is getting lonnnnnggggg....I was talking with one of the gal's I work with about a post from a week or so ago..she asked me....Molly, when do you stop letting people use you??  Boy, that was a hard one...when do you stop letting those certain one's take advantage of be honest, I really don't know....there is passage in the Bible that says that we should continue to forgive seven times seventy...and then I think...there's been times...A LOT of times that I probably didn't deserve forgiveness, but luckily...the people in my life forgave me and forgot about it it never even happened...WOW!!!  I guess, here's my response to that question...I will continue to forgive, because sometimes that's all a person needs...acceptance...yes, there are people out there that will use us, I'm not blind to it when it's happening, but my hope, is that one day, they will come around and maybe I might need to be forgiven by them..sometimes we do things unconsciensly (that's totally spelled wrong, but I'm too lazy to look up the correct spelling..heehee!) anyway, and we don't realize that we are hurting or using someone....but, use your instincts about people...never let ANYONE take anything away from long as we can be strong enough to not let that happen, all is least I hope so...ha!! ..and to wrap this post up and bring it around...back to the quote above....some people will stay in your heart forever, but not in your have to love from a distance, which I've yet another little blessing...and it helps us to move forward...with love!
Have a FABULOUS day everyone....I'm back to work tomorrow....ooooooooooo, I'm NOT ready...I love sitting around and enjoying my new place, but gotta pay the bills somehow...heehee....nooooo, I'm really looking forward to seeing all of the cutest little faces of my coworkers and visiting...5 days is a LONG time to be away from those crazy peeps..heehee!!!  Have a good one!  :)

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Movin on up...tooo teee tahhhh-ahhhh....

GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE!!  Soooooo happy to get back to my little bloggy world...who knew that you could miss this SO much...heehee!!  Welllll, there's been quite a few changes going on in my little life....I MOVED, I MOVED, I MOVVVVED...hence the title...and for those of you that don't's from a show called "The Jefferson's" was the theme song...and guess who can't seem to get it out of her head...yeah...that would be meeee!! 
Soooo, I have pretty much everything put in its place...I think that I'm really going to like it here...I'm slowly turning it into my little bungalow...ha!!!  Tomorrow is my last day off before I have to return to the real world, boy oh boy...I have SOOOOO enjoyed my time off...too bad that I'm not independently wealthy, huh?? 
Soooooo, what to talk about in my post this evening...I can't seem to settle onto a single topic...with all of the excitement and emotion of moving...I'm a bit overwhelmed...I just want to talk about my new place, but then I want to talk about everything else....WHOA!!!, these past few days, I've been lounging around, pretty much moving at the speed of a disabled turtle...taking my time getting things done...creating my little masterpieces and enjoying every single second...but, on the other hand, I'm missing my coworkers, my friends...and of course, my family...although having Kirsten and Mike here is more of a blessing than they will ever know.  Looking back on my life these past few years and looking at how far I have come to get to this point...I am SO proud of myself!  WOOOHOOOOOO!!!!!  Everyone says, you have to be's going to be a tough road, but you can do it if you put your mind to it....but, you know what...I'm not sure that I "consciously" made the decision to make things better..I think that is just happened..isn't that weird??  I had the opportunity to work at a job that I LOVVVVVVED for a little over a you want to know what happened in that year????  I met two people, who to this day, I swear I was supposed to meet..kind of like fate..if you believe in that...but, they were some of the MOST INSPIRING people that I have ever come into contact ENTIRE attitude changed, my whole outlook on life....I don't know if they will ever realize how they affected me and my life.  I'm sure that I had met people in my life that, under different circumstances, would have had the same effect on me, but these two came into my life at EXACTLY the right was wonderful....and as the saying goes..all great things must come to an end....I had to leave, not because I wanted to, but because they gave me the wings I needed to make decisions to improve my future....AWWWWWW....HOW I LOVE THEM...and miss them....I still see their beautiful photo's and pray for their continued success..they are wonderful.  Soooooo, after being there I started looking differently at my own family and friends...HOLY know WHATTTTTT??????  I've had these little blessings my entire life and failed to see parents...there are none bestest friends and my rocks when I need to be grounded....and my nephew...sweet innocence....cheering us all on in our little adventures.....and my and love trickeling over, in this, I'm trying to get across the point that we are ALLLLLL surrounded by LOVVVE...but, unfortunately, we fail to see it because we are SO focused on ourselves...I hope and pray that each one of you find someone, whether it be a friend, family member, boss...ANYONE...that will let that light shine and help you to see what's been around you the entire time....I owe my WORLD to my family and my friends....and of course, I owe Troy and Heather for taking me in and opening my eyes to see how WONDERFUL this big 'ole world is...if you just's ABSOLUTELY AMMMAZZZZINNNNGGGG!!!  Soooooo, to end tonight's post, I just want to say....look around sound to interrupt you...think about your life and the people in it....think about ALLLL that you have and put NO thought towards what you don't have....and give thanks, because it's truly a blessing!  Good night all.....have a FANTASTIC evening!  :)))

Thursday, May 31, 2012

"We may shine......"

"We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, 'cause we are glass...."
"Glass" lyrics-Thompson Square

Hello, hello!!  So, today I was somewhat struggling with what to write's been a challenge, that's for sure...but, then I was driving home and heard this song...I LOVVVVVE IT!!!  I know that the song is about finding love or trying to make love work, but I'm going to take it a bit out of context and apply it to life in here's my take on it...

We meet SO many people during our amazes me that there are SO many different personalities out there..I mean not one single person out of the BAZILLIONS of humans on the face of this Earth are EXACTLY alike...hmmmm....trying to wrap your mind around that is next to impossible..haha!!  I just look back on my thirty some years and seriously cannot remember every single person that I've met along the way...of course the one's that affected me, yes I remember them, but what about those one's that I just chatted with in some random place...trying to pass time, make conversation and whatnot...hmmmm...CRAZY to think about...not even sure that makes any sense, but you see where I'm going, right??  :)  I guess that today, this particular song made me think of all of the people that I've met, the one's that I've gotten to know and the one's that have a permanent place in my heart...soooo many peeps...WHOA!!  ...they/we all have ONE thing in common....WE ALL HAVE FEELINGS...EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US!!  Sometimes with life being so busy...all of the daily things that need our attention...I think that it is easy to forget that we are ALL human...people say certain people are good...others are bad..but, really...that's a matter of opinion, at least in my opinion..heehee!!!  We never know when we might be talking to someone that really needs someone...ANYONE..who will just sit and listen to need to say anything, they just need a pair of patient ears....because they haven't had anyone to talk to that didn't judge them for their past, their present..some decision they made and no one agreed with....HOW SADDDD!!!  I don't know really where I'm  trying to go with this, but I guess what I had first intended, was that we all need to be more aware that people are PEOPLE...just like you and matter what they've done, what they've said, or whatever...they are STILL people...still have feelings....still feel alone,'s so easy to be around people that are on top of the world...everything is going FANTASTICALLY well...and who wouldn't want to be around that type of person...they are worries to discuss...just everything good....I LOVE being around people like that...LOVVVVVE ITTTTT!!  ....but what happens when they "break"...when nothing is going in the right we leave them to fall or do we stand right there beside them, picking up the pieces with them...holding their hand and helping them along their journey????  Ohhhhhhhh, how I hope that majority would stand there...with with them...listen to them, because Lord only knows, we'll all be there someday and we'll all be praying for the person that doesn't leave us during the harder times in life!  Everyone has gone through something...whether it's something that is obvious, or something that they keep inside...we all, at some point will be the one struggling....

--------PAUSE FOR A LITTLE BREAK....I think this is the right time to enter in another perfect      verse from this song....YAYYYYYYY!!!----------

"I'll let you look inside me, through the stains and through the cracks,
And in the darkness of this moment,
You see the good and the bad,
But try not to judge me, 'cause we've walked down different paths,
But it brought us here together, so I won't take that back..."

---------OK....hope that you didn't leave for a potty break...cuz you missed it....heeheehee...just teasing...I can't get OVERLY serious...gotta throw in my own weird, crazy humor once in a while..hahahaha.....----------

All, there have been a few's that I will always remember that other people have told me....wellllllll, Molly....they aren't good for you...why are you wasting your time...are you BLIND...all these things said in the best interest of me, I understand...but, what if these people are NOT a waste of time....what if they ARE good for me...and no, last I checked, I wasn't blind....I just want to see a light in these people...I DO see a light....sometimes it's a little dim, but it's there...and I know that I've been the person with the pretty much burned out light....and there were people there to help make my little dim light shine brighter with each new day....and I look at myself today....and I know that I have let in all of the light that comes my way...everyone has, both good and bad....I want to strive to see the good...I understand that we have to take into account the bad, it may affect us and make a realistic decision based on what we feel, but I hope that we can all start to at least give everyone a fighting chance....not write them off so never know someone until you invest a little time into them....sometimes you might find a SPARKLING diamond and wonder how you could have ever thought anything bad about them...YIPPPPEEEEE!!!!  People are FRAGILE....and we DO break FAST....but, sometimes....we become better just by knowing someone else....yes, and this is my dream for the world....everyone deserves at least ONE chance....everyone has feelings and everyone can be broken....but, but, BUT...everyone can overcome almost anything...given the right circumstances and fellow humans cheering us all on.....YAYYYY!!!
Have a wonderful evening everyone....and again, thanks for reading...  :)

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Flutter, flutter...butterflies...

Good evening all....hoping your day has been FABULOUS!!!  My day has been...well, I'm a bit torn on how my day has has actually been a pretty great day, but on the other hand my high school class had to say good bye to our first fellow student, so in that, I'm saddddddd....everyday I say...mannnnn, I'm sooooo OLLLLLD, but put in a different circumstance...we're WAY toooooo YOUNG to be losing someone that we spent our childhood and teens with....darn it anyway!!  :(((((  Unfortunately, I did not have the privilege of knowing her as an adult, and didn't know KNOW her that well as kiddos, but I do know this...she was a very kind and loving individual with an OUTSTANDINGLY beautiful family and it seems that she was surrounded by the best of the BEST people...knowing and believing this, I am comforted knowing that she lived the best life possible in her short time here on she is watching over her loved ones and keeping them safe...another beautiful angel...still, I can't help but get a bit teary eyed....hard to understand, but I know one day....we will have all of the answers that we are ALL so DESPERATELY searching for....and it's going to be WONDERFUL!!  Sooooo, before I begin...while you're sitting around thinking...send up a little prayer for Laura and her family and all of her precious them strength to live and to thrive with the parts of her she left them all with....thinking and praying for healing.....

So...onto this evening's post....I went into work today and was FLABBERGASTED....YESSSS...that's you wanna know what happened??  Hmmmmm, well before I go into that...heehee...yes, I'm trying to be all SUSPENSFUL on you...sometimes I'm sneaky and unpredictable like that....HA!!!  Ok, so I wrote my post last night and was a tad bit hesitant to hit that "publish" button....and then afterward...I thought...OHH MYYYY, I can't believe that I just wrote all of that stuff...for EVERYONE to see....OHHH NOOOOOO!!!!!  Panic set in...BIGGGG TIMMME!!!, I get to work this morning and it seems that people liked it...WHATTTTT?????  Oh my goodness....RELIEFFFFFF....MUCHHHHO NEEDED RELIEF!  Sharing, what I thought was my ENTIRE closet of skeletons, made me cringe....but, you know what...I realized that sometimes by opening up and spilling everything ALL over the open a few doors for some pretty amazing people to come in...and in turn...guess who feels pretty amazing now??!??  Yep, that's right....MEEEEE!!!!  Ok....I'll stoppppp....but, was the felt SO I've said numerous times, and yet feel I don't say it enough.....I have AWESOME friends...heehee!!

So anyway...I got into a conversation with one of my peeps..hahaha...sometimes I crack myself up..yes, I'm easily entertained..haha!!  ...and since I was in quite the talkative mood today, I know...meeee...really??  Talk???  Yeah, I'm pretty surprised about it to...anywayyyy...we started talking and we were telling stories about some pretty clumsy times in my life and laughing and then we got kind of serious....and we were sort of talking about my blog last night....and I told her that she needed to start a blog because she needed to open up...get it all out....put it allll out there...hahahaha...I say to're guarded..gotta break down those walls...her response....Molly, you're guarded..etc...etc....I got to thinking...maybe I certain situations....oooooopsy....looking back and being a little bit sad that I have never been kiddies running around...and to be honest...never really loved and been loved in return..with the exception of friends and family...kind of sad...made me rethink what I wrote last night...maybe I've neglected a pretty important part of my life, just because I didn't want to face EMBARRASSING....I know...I guess I find it a lot easier to not think about certain kind of hurts...just a little, I need to just say....I'm STILL growing...WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!  :)))))  So, after all of this chitter chatter...she says...ok, Molly...starting tomorrow I'm going to ask you to tell me ONE good thing that you like about yourself....ohhhhhh comes that I have to relearn how to breathe before I completely pass out...hahaha (yes, I'm exaggerating to make a point..ha!)'s my thoughts on the days many events.....we are ALWAYS learning more about ourselves...always changing...always GROWING...WOW!!!!  It's not's NOT the end of the road.  So, here I am....preparing for her to ask me tomorrow, which by the way...she is going to give me ONE good thing that she likes about herself, too...AMAZZZINGGGG...I can't wait to hear what she has to say...YAYYYY!!!!  So, NEVER give up...there are people out there that can help you see AMAZING, SPECTACULAR things...and they seem to show up where we least expect to see them....YESSSSSS!!!  So begins another journey of learning....I'm pretty excited to begin it, no matter how scary it might be...and SO excited to get to know everyone SO much better...we're all in this world together...might as well make sure that everyone we come into contact with is being the BEST they can be..right????  This is a road that I have avoided for, whole life....facing the fear....yep....I can do this....YOU, my friends...CAN DO THIS...heck...we'll all do it together.... :)))))  Wishing you a pleasant evening and a FANTASTIC tomorrow...
OH WAIT...I FORGOT SOMETHING...I forgot to mention why I mentioned butterflies in the title of this post....really's because butterflies symbolize NEW, now go out and picture all sorts of them flying all around...because there are SO many new beginnings to be excited about...HAPPY, HAPPY!!  :)
Talk to you all later...  :)

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

LOVE....makes the world go round...oh yes it does...

Hello Everyone!!!
Hope that you all had a FANTASTICALLY WONDERFUL Memorial Day Weekend...I know that I did!!  Just mostly stayed at home with the fam...trying to soak in all of the time that I can before I know...20 WHOLE MINUTES AWAY!!!  Can you even imagine what kind of shape I would be in if I had to move across the country or something..I would pry have a complete mental breakdown...hahahahaha!!!  I'll just laugh about it now, but come Friday..I'm sure that there will be some more tears falling..heehee!! 
Ok...well, onto what I've been waiting allllllllll day to talk about....notice the cool pic that I just realized that I could put on here....wellllll, I wanted to jabber about that today...and in order for me to get my little point across...we have to take a little time machine back into my past...just a few years or so...are you ready????  Ok...ready or not...herrrre goes....
I grew up with one of the BEST childhood's a kid could ask for....2 AMAZING parents....3 FABULOUS, we didn't get along ALLLL of the time, but for the most part, we did...somewhere along this blessed road, I decided to take a little detour...NOT the best of my ideas, but chose to do it anyway...I lost "myself"..I can't exactly pinpoint when this all happened, but once I got into my 20's..yeah, I was SOOOOOO LOSSSSST!!!  I was sad all of the time...angry at my parents for who knows why...thought that NO ONE on the face of this earth could POSSIBLY love something like me....I was "substandard", "unlovable", pretty much a living, fairy tale kind of MONSTER...that's what I believed myself to be and was alllll ready to end it all...put everyone out of the misery of knowing me or even being associated with me...yep, that was me....WOWWWWWW....sooooooo, NOT COOL....not even a little bit...UGHHHHHH!!!!!  :(
Thennnnnnn.....thennnnnnn....YESSSSSSSSS....I have no idea how to describe it....I don't know when it even or how it even happened...slowly but surely....I was starting to see how insanely..and I use that word with the intent of was INSANE the way I was acting and feeling...not to say that feelings don't matter, because they most certainly DO...they are what we are made of....but, those one's that eat us ALIVE....NOOOOOOO!!!!  I had let this define me for OHHHH SOOOO MANY almost destroyed me and all of my relationships....I hated everything about life....but, then whatever it was...I started to come around...did I mention that I have an AMMMMAZZZZINNNGGG family and a pick of the litter circle of friends...they never once gave up on this girlie....I was being selfish....YUCKY!!! now coming back to the present tense...I am a completely different person...I look at life with an ENTIRE new outlook...everything is BEAUTIFUL and everything is a BLESSING....I am no longer feeling sorry for myself...I make the decisions in my life and I control if it's going to be a good life or a black hole where there is no return....THERE IS A RETURN BUTTON...I SWEAR THERE IS....I got the opportunity to start ALLL over and in the process, I realized that when I take care of myself, that isn't selfish...not in the's's trying to be the BEST person you can be so you can make room to help other's be the BEST person they can be...and in that you GROW and you LEARN and you APPRECIATE ABSOLUTELY EVERY POSSIBLE LITTLE THING!!  ...nowadays (nice word, I know..heehee)...sometimes I see a baby tree and just smile...yeah, I probably look like a weirdo, but you know what, I'm smiling....and the more you smile, the more it becomes you....YAYYYYYYY!!!!  So...this is for anyone struggling with life....wondering what it's all's my thoughts....YOU are what it's all about...YOU make your LIFE...YOU and YOU awesome is that....don't ever leave it up to someone else or up to some bad thoughts in your head...they are just thoughts, they are not permanent...replace them with good thoughts and laugh as much as you will pull through...I know it...LOVVVVVVVE're all you got... you might have noticed...I have a bit of a passion about this subject..and yes, I actually could go on and on for another hour or two, but I think that I've probably gotten my point across...I just want EVERYONE to find happiness...never forget, we only get ONE chance at this....once our name is called we can't say..oops, I messed up....take your 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th chances when you can and make your life something to remember and affect as many people as you can with love and kindness, because that is the greatest gift that you can give anyone....ok...I'll stop....sheesh...heehee...have a good evening everyone...thanks for reading!!  :)))))

Friday, May 25, 2012

Blessings....ohhhhh....sooo many...

Happy evening everyone!  Hope that you're Friday was EXTRA FABULOUS!!  Hmmm..well, I've been, once again, thinking about what I was going to write about today..and WAH just came to me...I'm going to talk about a MAJOR REVOLUTION (not sure if that is exactly the word I'm looking for here, but you'll get the point, ha!)  So, anyway...woke up late this morning..rushing all around to try to look at least a quarter of the way to decent...realizing that my mornings rushing around this wonderful house are going to be just a precious memory in a few days....yes, being a bit seems that it trickled over from last night...anyway...going about my merry way..driving to work...getting to work and losing it completely..yet AGAIN...hmmm, it's been SO long since I've cried as much as I have the past 1 1/2 days...I think that my tear ducts are starting to dry up or I'm becoming insanely either case..I need to get a hold of myself here..hahaha....anyway, back to the original story...I was telling all of my coworkers about my little ordeal of leaving good ole St. Paul and watching them listen to me....REALLY LISTEN...WHOA!!  So, I've realized that the time in my life has arrived when one FINALLY realizes that there are people who, I'm pretty sure...CARE ABOUT YOU...what a thought!  I mean, I've lived my life knowing...absolutely KNOWING that I treat others well..the ONE thing that I've been confident in, but with that being said, I expect people to treat me well in response...that has been my thought stopped there!  I never thought about it and today...this wonderful Friday....I looked at all of these people that I work with everyday and I watch them and I see them laughing and visiting and listening to each other and I realized...WOWWWWW...I am one blessed girlie...I mean, I always said that...knowing that I was....but, today...I FELT IT!!!  My heart is doing little backflips all over the place....I think that I have been blinded by all of life's little distractions that I never really stopped to see what has been around me this whole entire time!  HOW EXCITING!! fact, I'm just going to go ahead and continue to ramble know, the, I felt a HUGE group hug from everyone around me....I LOVE MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!  God has certainly given me more blessings than I deserve, and for that, I am SOOOO THANKFUL!! 
So, the next time that I'm feeling sad and lonely and thinking that the world is caving in all around me...I'm going to think back to this moment, when I'm a basket case of emotions and I'm going to see everyone's cute little faces and their little habits and hear their laughter and remember how much love surrounds me, it's like a little invisible bubble of protection coming from all of those that I've come to know and feel every bit of love that they gave me today....means the WORLD to me!  My message, as you can see...don't ever feel lonely or sad, but if you do...mark a little place in your heart with all of the pictures of the smiles of the people you love and that love you...accept their love, even if you aren't sitting right in front of them at that exact moment...because that feeling...IS SO will warm your heart and the saying goes...people will come in and out of your life, some will stay, some will go....but, all will leave a little part of themselves with you...make sure you remember the good things about all of these people, both past and present...they ALL make you who you are...and ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS leave them with the best parts of you, because it works both ways....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm so BLESSED and SO CONTENT with my little's starting to make sense....YAYYYY!!!! :))))  Have a FANTASTIC Memorial Day weekend..and of course, be safe!!!  :)